oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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