another moral hangover. fuck.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
