oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
