I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
