who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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