Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize