I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
