Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
