did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
