Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
