just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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