no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
