You smell like a Billy Joel song
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Text me some of your sweat
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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