i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
There r osticjed everywhere
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize