She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
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