I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
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