whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
