Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
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