either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
