I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
