omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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