I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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