Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
