Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
