yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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