I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
