Your mouth is God's brothel.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
