I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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