thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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