i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
