The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
