just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
