Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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