I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
