I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
