The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
