just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
