AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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