I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
