I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
