I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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