last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
