How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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