I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her๏ปฟ
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ๐๐๐๐
Randomize
