after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Even my vagina gasped.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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