i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I just threw up on my dentist
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
