Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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