There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
