she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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