cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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