Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
