Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
