oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
