a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
