we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
