I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
She even gives head with a lisp.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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