mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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