And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
