It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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