question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
