I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Randomize
