Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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