Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
