Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
