If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Randomize
