Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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