talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
