Where is the hickey?
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Semen is not good for contacts.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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