Small penises have feelings too.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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