Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
