its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
