I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
