Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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