you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
