My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
